Taken so long,
travelled not far.
Singing this song,
stalling this car.

Skies have gone.
Shadows have dawned.
We walked on.
I held on. Yet--

Waiting for hope.
Smiling at past.
Long is this road,
Can't I turn back?

I've no hands to hold.
Yet still clawing on.
But love is gone,
I lost the love.


12:22AM
June 13, 2008

Last week, I was so paralyzed with stress. I couldn't move my neck. My shoulders ached. My entire body was in complete denial that it had to move. So yesterday, I took advantage of the holiday and went to a reflexologist. I've only known this woman for like, a total of 4 hours of my life. The first two hours was the first ever session I had with her last year. The next two hours were spent in utter pain, as she stretched, twisted, cracked and straightened me up. In joints and muscles that were even unknown to me. I can't believe that I actually felt better. She also had a couple of things to say to me. And it amazes me that she can tell.

• I'm too stressed and I don't even have children yet.
• My right shoulder is swollen and misaligned. I should stop carrying heavy stuff on it, for example my laptop or whatever else.
• There's a lot of tension inside my body, that my organs can't breathe. Which would make me prone to abdominal pains (when I have my period) and susceptible to indigestion.
  
• Whatever I do takes more vitamins and nutrients than what my body can give. So I need to take major supplements.
• I shouldn't let hunger pass. I should always eat when I feel the need for it. Because my body is finding it hard to cope with the amount of work it needs to do.
• I bathe even when I'm tired. When I told her I bathe in the morning when I wake up, she tells me that it just means my body is still tired and yet I wake it up.
• I go to sleep stressed and exhausted, not relaxed and rested. Hence the heaviness in the mornings.

At the end of the session, I got texts and calls related to work. And I thought, is this all worth it? Wouldn't it all be a field of perfect nothingness if I just let go...