Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
My 9yo on holding a very new baby: "she is so cute... the size of four rats 🥰"
— sarah (@sarahradz_) September 3, 2024
My youngest son is so hilarious dawg, whenever he gets hungry he sits in his favorite cabinet and points at the stove lol this is his way of telling me to cook 😂 pic.twitter.com/hgKMEfV6tU
— U. (@uniqueblessed) September 2, 2024
Parents, please be aware of potentially dangerous messaging in music your kids listen to. In Daniel Tiger's "Clothes On, Eat Breakfast" song about getting ready for school, (aka word of law to 3yos) NO MENTION is made of going potty before leaving the house. In this essay I will
— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) September 4, 2024
What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) September 5, 2024
Obsessed with when babies see a younger baby and say “baby!” Like girl, ur the Spider-Man meme right now
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) September 1, 2024
My toddler found out he was going for his 2nd day of preschool today, as my wife was driving him there, and he said “NOOO ! I don’t want to see more people !”
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) September 5, 2024
I think he’s ready for adulthood, folks.
me: [grabbing a coke zero I bought with my own money inside my own home]
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) September 4, 2024
11: just so you know that's your second coke of the night.
Our family group chat is mostly just me sending out the access code that was just texted to me so someone can log into one of my accounts.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 5, 2024
Hope one day my kids appreciate all the sacrifices I've made for them. Like all the birthday parties I've taken them where I was forced to make small talk with ppl I don't know.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) September 3, 2024
If you’re wondering what a mom brain is I just looked for the milk in the microwave.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) September 3, 2024
A 7-year-old told me that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce broke up and I said no they didn't and she said yes they did, should I be an adult and let this go or should I be right which I actually am
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) August 31, 2024
I told a kid he’s Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs and he looked me dead in the eye and called me old.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) September 1, 2024
Well, what he said is: what’s that?
My kid has been collecting money she finds around the house for years, I was short some cash and she let me borrow some, as long as I repay her, so now I owe her money for borrowing my money. Is it too soon to enroll her in business school?
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) September 5, 2024
My kid just brought home his book fair catalog so RIP my bank account
— meghan (@deloisivete) September 3, 2024
I did the brave thing: I ordered just two pictures of my kid from the school picture package.
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) September 5, 2024
My kids love the beach, they just hate the part where they get wet and/or sandy
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) September 2, 2024
I started cooking dinner, and my 7yo paused in her playing, gave me a hard side eye, and opened the window in anticipation of smoke. That burn is worse than anything I could do to the food, y’all.
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) September 3, 2024
Me in my 20s: I WANNA GROW SOMETHING WILD AND UNRULY
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) August 31, 2024
Me in my 40s with three kids: not like that
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Wife: [putting frozen strawberries into blender]
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) September 4, 2024
Child: Ooooh making smoothies?
Wife: [emptying bottle of wine into blender]: Kind of.
Support Free Journalism
Consider supporting HuffPost starting at $2 to help us provide free, quality journalism that puts people first.
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Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. We hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Already contributed? Log in to hide these messages.