When Your Employee Feels Angry, Sad, or Dejected

The right—and wrong—ways to respond

by

and

Jeffrey Sanchez-Burks

by

and

Jeffrey Sanchez-Burks

From the Magazine (July–August 2024) · Long read

Evan Kafka/Gallery Stock

Summary.

Dealing with the negative emotions of employees isn’t easy, but knowing what to do or say can make a huge difference to their well-being, the quality of your relationships with them, and team performance. The trouble is, many leaders fail to respond at all because they think discussing emotions at work is unprofessional or worry they don’t have the right to intervene in personal matters. That’s a mistake. Research shows that teams whose leaders acknowledge members’ emotions perform significantly better than teams whose leaders don’t.

In this article the authors offer a road map for providing employees emotional support. The right response depends heavily on context, in particular, whether someone (1) is working on a time‑sensitive goal and (2) seems to be coping. Sometimes you have to intervene quickly; sometimes you should simply validate the employee’s feelings; sometimes you should validate and then offer advice; and sometimes you should give the person space and time. You need to assess each situation carefully and avoid the tendency to always jump in with solutions, bearing in mind that employees may not expect you to fix things; they may just need to be heard.

Idea in Brief

The Problem

Leaders struggle to know what to say or do when an employee is distressed or unhappy. It’s a huge deal because their responses can have an enormous impact on the well-being of that person, the quality of their relationship, and team performance.

The Root Cause

Many managers incorrectly believe that discussing emotions at work is unprofessional or worry that they’ll say or do the wrong thing.

The Solution

Ask two questions: (1) Does your employee seem to be coping? (2) Is your employee focusing on a time-sensitive work goal? The answers will determine which of four approaches explored in this article will be the most helpful.

You walk by your employee’s cubicle. He has his elbows on his desk and is resting his forehead on his hands. He’s emanating stress. Do you say something? If you do, what should you say?

A version of this article appeared in the July–August 2024 issue of Harvard Business Review.

Christina Bradley is a doctoral student in the Management & Organizations department at the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business. Her research focuses on how to talk about emotions at work.
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Lindy Greer is a professor of management and organizations at the Stephen M. Ross School of Business at the University of Michigan, where she directs the Sanger Leadership Center.
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Jeffrey Sanchez-Burks, a professor at the University of Michigan Ross School of Business, studies culture, emotions, and the creative process.

When Your Employee Feels Angry, Sad, or Dejected

Idea in Brief

The Problem

The Root Cause

The Solution

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