Just finished the demo, and it was a delight! Things flowed well, and though sentences did run on a bit at times, I was enjoying myself too much to notice more often than not XD
I'm including a list of minor typos I noticed as I went through, just to hopefully help out!
- It’s hard to believe you’re doing this. You’re going to be working for yourself. Picking your clients, culminating your image.
The phrase is 'cultivating your image', so I'm assuming this is a typo that got autocorrected or something similar.
- Before he can answer, someone pushes past you roughly, causing you to hit your side against a nearby seat. Markus quickly steps in front of you protectively. You’re unsure of the look that Markus gives the person but it was enough to stop them in their tracks. Maybe they thought Markus looked far to nice to be rude to.
This whole paragraph takes place before M tells you their name, so it was a bit early for that.
- I nod softly, not really wanting the book or to be here any longer. I take it without saying another word."
This is the first option when parting ways with M and they give you their book; there's a " when no dialogue has occurred.
- Cam nods, the bus hissing at its stop allowing you two to clamor on.
I'm assuming this is meant to be 'climb' or 'clamber', and not 'a group of noisy people shouting'.