From the course: Conflict Resolution Foundations
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Distinguishing fact from fiction
From the course: Conflict Resolution Foundations
Distinguishing fact from fiction
- In a conflict, there are two things operating. One is what actually happened, and two is how people interpret what happened. Said another way, it's facts versus fiction. And distinguishing between the two is the second step on the resolution roadmap, our framework for solving everyday problems. Now let's take a look at a conflict between Mark and Lily. First, the facts. Mark stays up all night finishing a draft of a proposal and gives it to Lily, his boss. A few hours later, Lily hands the proposal back to Mark with red pen edits on every section and every page. Those are the facts. That's what happened. Now for the fiction. Mark starts seething about Lily's critique and blurts out, "You never appreciate any of the work I do. If you did, you wouldn't be so hypercritical." This is the name, blame, claim cycle in action. Something happens, your feelings get the best of you, you tell a story about why it happened, and…
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