Wikipedia:What Wikipedia is not/Outtakes
This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous. Such material is not meant to be taken seriously. |
Since Wikipedia:What Wikipedia is not was first written, a number of proposed additions never made it in. These are outtakes from the official policy, and while most of them are true, none of them should be considered official policy.
Warning: Read at your own risk.
Wikipedia does not use no double negatives
It sure ain't got none no more.
What Wikipedia is not, according to the Blogosphere
It's really amazing to learn the things that Wikipedia is not...
- Wikipedia is not Wiki
- Wikipedia is not a revolution
- Wikipedia Is Not the Lovefest We Thought
- Wikipedia is not a viral marketing tool
- Wikipedia is not a load of old cobblers
- Wikipedia is Not the Next Google, and furthermore, Wikipedia is not all powerful over Google
- Wikipedia is not the answer
- Wikipedia is not an epistemology silver bullet
- Wikipedia is not alone
- Wikipedia is not an atomistic universe of monkeys each at its own typewriter
- Wikipedia is not just one more new gizmo arriving on the scene
- Wikipedia is not the truth!
- Wikipedia is not so human
- Wikipedia is not doomed
Wikipedia is not a brand of pop
And even if it was, nobody would buy it.
Fanta's better.
Wikipedia is not your mom
sorry, couldn't resist
Wikipedia is not a urinal
Hey, you! Do that stuff over there, or there.
Wikipedia is not a sock
I mean, does it smell bad? No! Then it's not a sock!
W1k1p3d14 i5 n07 a p14c3 4 l3375p33K!!!
if U y00z l3375p33k heer, u wil get Pwn3d.
Wikipedia is not a graveyard
So don't put dead bodies in here.
Wikipedia does not bite
OW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wikipedia is not a place to get drunk
Awwww, man. That's no fair.... but it's okay if we're drunk already, right?
Wikipedia is not a swimming pool
Cannonball!!!! Aww, crap! I broke my computer.
Wikipedia is not your great aunt Agnes
Thank God!
Wikipedia is not your husband/wife
Need I explain more?
Wikipedia is not communism
Despite the assertions of many a vandal, Wikipedia is not, in fact, communism. Jimbo Wales is not really Che Guevara or Emma Goldman, Larry Sanger is not Trotsky, and Wikipedia was not founded in a bloody and violent armed revolution against Encyclopædia Brittanica imperialism. Furthermore, no matter what anyone will tell you, Wikipedia is not owned in common by the workers. Wikipedia belongs to the world. From each according to his/her convenience and addiction, to each according to his/her bandwidth (as long as the site is still up).
Wikipedia is not David Hasselhoff
It is true that Wikipedia is far more popular in Germany than in its native United States. It is true that Wikipedia is often surrounded by attractive women in bikinis. And it is true that Wikipedia has more "cool" and "sex appeal" than any other 1980's TV star. Despite these similarities, however, Wikipedia is not David Hasselhoff.
Wikipedia is not the Second Coming
Wikipedia is bigger than Jesus.[1] Wikipedia is even bigger than the Beatles![2] Hell, it's even bigger than me.[3] But only just. Wikipedia is even making a run at porn.[4] Wikipedia is more important than life.[5] Wikipedia is bigger than the universe.[6] Where will this end?
Wikipedia is not a cabal
Wikipedia is only run by a cabal. Of thousands. But don't worry—you, too, can join the cabal by making a history of constructive, high-quality edits. That, and learn the secret password. (It's "BANANAS.")
Wikipedia is not a site opposing random and trivial fictional stuff
On the contrary. Wikibooks and Wikia were created for a reason.
Wikipedia is not a place to masturbate
Wikipedia is not a porn site or any other place to masturbate. Every masturbation or "varied sex" infobox has been deleted. See {{User varied sex}}.
While Wikipedia is not pr0n, it is also not not pr0n. If that makes any sense.
Wikipedia is not a place for perky people
^_^ =3 :D ;D =) ;-) =^_^= ^^ >_> :) :P
Wikipedia is a place for well-written articles on pokémon
One of our best articles actually is about a Pokémon! (At least, it was.)
Wikipedia is not a place to find The Truth
The Truth is out there . . . wait, sorry, I mean out there. Really. I mean it. Turn off the computer and go outside now. You have had enough for one day.
Wikipedia is not a place to boost one's ego
Perhaps this one should be officially added, now that the edit count tools are whack, and considering that the vast majority of editors are non-notable individuals.
Wikipedia is not an MMORPG
Granted, we have edit counts for levels (but not to the extent of Everything 2); edit distribution and othat stats; administrators, arbitrators, vandals, and so on for classes; sockpuppets for using "summons" on a hacked character; over 1.3 million players; over 1,130,000 locations (including 900+ Featured towns and cities), pubs (talk pages); quest rewards (barnstars); boss battles (FAC); class change trials (RFA), and battle arenas (AIV).
Wikipedia is not a place to tell really filthy but totally funny jokes
I told you it wasn't.
Wait a second, it so is...
Wikipedia is not Pokemon Yellow
Once you get 8 Good Article badges, you won't be going to fight the Elite Four (Raul, Jimbo, Curps, and SimonP).
Wikipediä ist nicht nur für Deutsche
Wikipediä ist für die Welt. Ja, die Deutschewikipediä ist more popular than die Englishwikipediä, Ja, Deutschland hat die only Printedwikipediäeditiön in die Welt. Ja, Wikipediä supports Ünicöde, allowing für Lötsöfümläuts. Ja, Jimbo Wäles ist der Übermensch prophesied by Deutschphilözopher Friedrich Nietzsche. Und finally, ja, Wikipediä ist pronounced mit einem "V-soünd" as you call it in Englisch. Nonetheless, Wikipediä ist nicht nur für Deutsche!
Wikipedia is not a kitten
Though sometimes cute and cuddly, Wikipedia is not a kitten. Please do not stroke it lovingly.
Wikipedia is not a sexual lubricant
No explanation needed.
Wikipedia is not just for Christmas
It is for life. Don't let the kids sit on it or pull it by the tail.
Wikipedia is not a giant, blue and green striped, pink and purple polkadotted, odorous, pizza-covered, telephone-eating, lederhosen-wearing, Republican, bloodstained homicidal maniac named Bob
This follows from the fact that Wikipedia is not Republican.
Wikipedia is not Wikipedia
Psych!
Wikipedia is not a spoon
But you can still eat soup with it, although it might be wise to invest in a new computer. Also, Wikipedia is there, as opposed to the spoon.
Wikipedia is not a duck
Wikipedia is not a place to post half-finished sentences
Half-finished articles and Candlejack are fine, but please finish your sen
Wikipedia is not a place for an argument
Yes it is. No it isn't. Yes it is. No it isn't.
That's not an argument, that's just a contradiction!
No it's not.
Yes it is. An argument is an intellectual process, intended to establish a proposition. That's not just saying, "No it isn't".
Yes it is.
No, it isn't.
Look -- if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary postion.
<dead argument sketch continues in random order ad infinitum>
Wikipedia is not a place for vandalism
You said: "I think you are being anal retentive and a hardass, i see how the comments on the talk page of that are unconstrucitve but it was a joke and i thought that it would be okay on the talk page. regarding + Did anyone else think that this is some funny shit!?Cholga 19:02, 19 September 2006 (UTC) that is not vandalism it was a legitimate question about what people thought about the colbert report thing. WHAT OTHER VANDALISM ARE YOPU TALKING ABOUT, YOU SAID YOU COULD COME UP WITH ANOTHER EXAMPLE I AM FURIOUS I AM USING BOLD I AM A SUPERSTAR SHOW ME THE MONEY? I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THESE SUPPOSED OTHER EXAMPLESChola out"
- I'm complaining about your claim that you have elephants in your back yard, that elephants live in Antarctica, and that they are overpopulating the world. Article discussion pages are to be used for improving the quality of the article and this is noted at the top of that particular article. Unconstructive edits are considered vandalism. --Yamla 19:38, 19 September 2006 (UTC)
Wikipedia is not a window shade
You can't use it to darken your house. Well, you could print out articles and use those, but Wikipedia itself is not a shade. Don't even think about it.
Put down the pull cord and step away from the glass.
Wikipedia is not a place to communicate secret messages
By embedding them in blocks of otherwise innocuous text. Did I just give something away?
Wikipedia is not funny
Wikipedia is not some kind of clown here for your amusement. What's so funny about Wikipedia? Tell me. lol
Wikipedia is not on the internet
Usefulness? On *my* INTERNET?!
Wikipedia is not an online encyclopedia that comes in many languages and can be edited by users
Oh, wait. It is. Never mind.
Wikipedia is not written in code
let section = ("Wikipedia is not written in code") & if { readerMood = (bored) then closeWindow; else: keepReading OR vomitUncontrollably; repeatUntil laughter = (stopped) &then: changePants (underwear) + changePants (trousers) & remember ("use bathroom before laughing") if pants = (not wet/soiled) then continue reading|letter|word|line|paragraph|section|page {&if page = (boring) then (2F@$&ingBad4u) and mood= (Angry) - XP soThen vandaliseUncontrollably} &endFunction} loopIf discoveredByAdmin = false }else{ if discoveredByAdmin = true then { run4Life &pray that JimboWales (know) = doesNot else bleedOn (floor) & (mercy)begFor ifDead then Pwn3d = true endStatement} } bleep end
Wikipedia is not for disambiguity
Wikipedia is not a place for disambiguity or Purple Toe-Eating fungus.
Wikipedia is not ON WHEELS!!
Anymore, that is.
Wikipedia is not a flotation device
In the event that someone is drowning, do not throw Wikipedia to him/her. This will only make matters worse (see electrocution).
Wikipedia's Javascript doesn't mean be hyper
Perk!Perk!What?Blah!Let'splay!PLAYPLAYPLAY!*thud-snoooooooore*
So please don't add lots of links that could use up its bandwidth because the bandwidth is needed for real articles. Thank you very much.
Wikipedia is
not the
place to
create infinite
Headlines
like I am
doing now
Wikipedia is not the place to sabotage articles with personal info
Wkipedia is not the place to explain that Jim Hersha is a 12th grader in Arkansas who loves chocolate.
Wikipedia is not an airline
Wikipedia cannot process your flight arrangements, and Wikipedia does not have cheap flights. It also doesn't charge $2/min for a phone call.
Wikipedia will not help you see your boyfriend
Which didn't occur to Rebecca.
Wikipedia is not.
It was, but that didn't work so well.
Wikipedia is snot.
Wait..
Wikipedia is not for everyone
Please consult your doctor before starting Wikipedia. Do not use if under the influence of alcohol. Serious side effects, such as vandalism, explosion of cranium due to overflow of knowledge, or extreme headaches, may occur. If you experience an erection lasting longer than four hours, consult your doctor. Do not drive or operate heavy machinery while using Wikipedia. If you start experiencing discoloration of your right toes, discontinue use of Wikipedia and consult a doctor.
Wikipedia is for everyone
Please do not consult your doctor before starting Wikipedia. Use if under the influence of alcohol. Serious side effects may not occur. Do drive or operate heavy machinery while using Wikipedia. When you start experiencing discoloration of your right toes, continue use of Wikipedia and don't consult a doctor.
Wikipedia is not my beautiful house
Nor is it my beautiful wife.
Wikipedia is not the call of the Seventh Trumpet of the End Times
It does, however, hang out with war, famine, death, and pestilence.
Wikipedia is not the Governor of California
Hasta la vista, one-liners!
Wikipedia is not gay
He is going out with google.com. I heard he got her pregnant!
Wikipedia is not in the process of sucking
Depending on what your reply is, you could suffer... *cocks shotgun* Any Questions?
Wikipedia is not also in the process of blowing
Do note that although this is the alternative of sucking, you should think accordingly as to whether it does or does not blow. *waves shotgun*
Wikipedia is not my shotgun
It isn't really possible to blast your enemies in the face with Wikipedia, although additional cardiovascular damage may occur as a result, making it roughly as dangerous.
Wikipedia is not a game
Too many people think it is.
Wikipedia is not a carrot
Wikipedia is also not Britannica, nor is it a radish.[7]
Wikipedia is not a GameShark
You can't use Wikipedia to make your life as easy as breathing. It leads to serious problems.
Wikipedia is not deodorant
Yup.....what were you expecting something funny? Well your not gunna get it cuz it really isn't deodorant.
Wikipedia is not a banana
Don't throw it on the floor and let people fall on it. JONJONBTTalk to me! 02:06, 6 June 2007 (UTC)
Wikipedia is not any kind of fruit or vegetable
It is a website. Well duhhhhh!!
Wikipedia is not The Matrix
Although it is an alternate reality of sorts.
Wikipedia will not help you lose weight
That why dieting and/or exercise were created.
Wikipedia is not a pipe
Or, as the French would say, Wikipédia n'est pas une pipe.
Wikipedia is not sold in stores
So call now! The next fifty callers receive a free Wiktionary! Sorry, no CODs
no, it ain't gonna take it, Wikipedia's not gonna take it, anymore
Wikipedia is not a member of The Solar Federation.
But thanks for letting us know you have assumed control
Wikipedia is not not not not not an encyclopedia
Of course it's not not not not not. It is, however, not not not a fruit.
No, Wikipedia is not the rule of double negation
No, no, it is not.
Wikipedia is not Uncyclopedia
“That's right! You tell 'em!“
- ~
Oscar Wilde on Wikipedia is no Uncyclopedia
“Yup, you're right on the money there!“
“In Soviet Russia, pedia wikis YOU!!“
- ~
Russian Reversal on Wikipedia
“AAAAAAAA!“
Wikipedia is likely to be eaten by a Grue
Would you like to Restore, Restart, or Quit?
Wikipedia is not AAAAAAAAA
It's not BBBBBBBBBB, Meow, Woof or YYYYYYYYY either.
Wikipedia does not know the Ultimate Question
It does, however, know the |Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything
Wikipedia is not DeviantArt
- Yay! First comment!
- You've been tagged! Put this in your user page and send it to six other Wikipedians!
- [comment hidden by owner]
- [comment hidden by owner]
- [comment hidden by owner]
- [comment hidden by owner]
- [comment hidden by owner]
- (1 Reply)
- [comment hidden by owner]
- [comment hidden by owner]
- [comment hidden by owner]
- [comment hidden by owner]
- WAAAA...Kawaii desu, ne? ^_^
- Overall, I'd give Wikipedia very high marks. My only criticism is that the "anyone can edit" philosophy makes the website very prone to abuse. But, otherwise, a very good encyclopedia.
- Well, bitch, that's how my f***ing website works, so leave me f***ing alone.
- Wow. You're mature </Sarcasm> If you're going to bitch every time someone gives you constructive criticism, then maybe you shouldn't be here.
- Well, bitch, that's how my f***ing website works, so leave me f***ing alone.
- SAVE THE YELLOW ALIEN!!! SAVE THE YELLOW ALIEN!!!
(three hours later...)
Wikipedia is in read-only mode for system maintenance.
Wikipedia is not yo mama
If Wikipedia tells you to do something, you don't necessarily have to do it. Now clean your room!
Wikipedia is not The Flying Spaghetti Monster
Please don't get your friends to worship it, please.
Wikipedia is not the place for cybersex
Go do that to a chat room, despite the fact that the person you're not talking to is not a blonde 19-year old girl.
sdrawckab gnihtyna tpecca ton lliw aidepikiW
.siht detpecca yeht ,nosaer emos rof tuB
Wikipedia is not your diary
For more information, see this page.
Wikipedia is not radioactive
Okay? It's safe. Just take off that damn protection suit, it smells like your ugly face!
Wikipedia is not Encyclopedia Dramatica
So don't do it for the lulz! Give us MOAR encyclopedic stuff!
Wikipedia is not Cyndi Lauper's house
No girl should just wanna have fun here. This is serious business!
Wikipedia is not The Price is Right
Come on down all you want, but you aren't winning a new car anytime soon.
Wikipedia is not the Paris Hilton Fanclub
Go to Jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
Wikipedia is not a maid
Pick that up!
Wikipedia is not KAT-TUN
So take your kawaii's and kakkoii's elsewhere fangirls. D:<
Wikipedia is not suitable for vegetarians
It also isn't suitable for people with nut allergies.
Wikipedia is not The Weakest Link
You are, goodbye.
Wikipedia is not Final Fantasy X
There is no pilgrimage to becoming the high administrator, no maestor Wales to overthrow, no aeonpuppets to summon, and no overdrive edits to perform. The dead do not become fiends. No Wikiknights are battling Sin. You can't increase your power by negotiating the edit grid.
And on a further note, Wikipedia is not Final Fantasy XI
Wikipedia is not a Big Brother contestant
So you can't nominate it for eviction. But you can nominate the stupid contestant's pages for deletion. Or be bold and redirect them to the article of the Big Brother season they appeared. Unless of course they have been all over the news for saving baby seals, or they happen to be best friends with Paris Hilton, or written a best seller, or did the nasty with Richard Hatch. Other than those things, there is no reason to have individal articles on Big Brother contestants just for being on/or winning the show! Get a life.
Wikipedia is not a phone-in competition
But, if it was, they'd either be won by someone who works for Wikipedia[8] or have already chosen the winner before closing the lines[9].
It also follows that they'll also rig phone-in polls as well[10], or charge more than they should for those votes[11].
Besides, if it was a phone-in competition, the winner will be someone who works behind the scenes, without the host's knowledge[12].
Wikipedia is not a Salmon
Because it had to be done.
Wikipedia is not a place for putting long funny lists
So what is this then?
Wikipedia is not a lightbulb
It is worth noting that if an engineer builds a better lightbulb, this engineering will have no noticeable impact on Wikipedia policies, guidelines or consensus. [1]
Wikipedia is not Barbie Girl
You can't brush it's hair, or undress it anywhere.
Wikipedia is not Sky Sports News
Therefore, (a) you can still see it if you have Virgin Media, and (b) it won't continue to show "breaking news" more than half an hour after it was "broken".
Wikipedia is not an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
it's not a catchy song either.
Wikipedia is not a football
It's a stone, Luigi! You didn't make it!
Wikipedia can't save Koridai
It is written: Only Link can defeat Ganon.
Wikipedia is not Burger King
You can't always have it your way here, sorry.
Wikipedia is not The Borg
You won't be assimilated. Just your knowledge. You can go on about your business. Move along.
Wikipedia is not Donkey Kong
It will not throw barrels.
Wikipedia is not Jay-Z
Wikipedia has 99 bitches and ain't a problem with one[13]
Wikipedia is not the Daily Express
It therefore doesn't think that Princess Diana was murdered. It also doesn't change its opinion about the McCanns depending on what day it is.
Wikipedia is also not the Daily Mail
For it knows that Ireland isn't part of the United Kingdom, and doesn't worry about house prices either. They also don't give away free DVDs - even though they'd only be available at W H Smith.
Nor is Wikipedia The Star
Since it doesn't have Big Brother on its front page on a daily basis for about three months, followed by either The X-Factor or I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! between the end of Big Brother and Christmas.
Wikipedia is not WP:BJAODN
So don't delete it and replace it with a historical page
Wikipedia does not look good on the dancefloor
Anyway, that's Alex Turner out of the Arctic Monkeys' job.
Wikipedia aint no place for grammars that is bad
There aint gonna be some grammar that is not readable? or otherwise some Grammar Nazis and Grammar Polices could can go to you house and arrests you We's makes however a exceptional.
Wikipedia is not a purple monkey dishwasher
Nor is it a cheese-eating surrender monkey.
Wikipedia is not My Chemical Romance
WHEN IT WASNT!
Wikipedia is not 4chan
Wikipedia is not your bitch
YOU WISH!
Wikipedia is not the place to look for the meaning of life
That's on Wiktionary
Wikipedia is not the answer to life, the universe and everything
42
Seriously
Wikipedia is not fo' urban languages
So get ya shitty pants o' ma articlez, or y'ain't be breathin' anymo'. Come o', man, ya heard me, get t'hell outta ma encyclopediah.
Wikipedia is not repetative
simple enough
Wikipedia is not repetative
simple enough
Wikipedia is not repetative
simple enough
Wikipedia is not repetative
simple enough
Wikipedia is not the place to swear
While Wikipedia is not censored, there is no fucking need to swear for no fucking reason.
Footnotes
- ^ "Google Trends:wikipedia, jesus". Retrieved 2006-05-18.
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(help) - ^ "Google Trends:wikipedia, beatles". Retrieved 2006-05-18.
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(help) - ^ "Google Trends:Wikipedia, me". Retrieved 2006-12-07.
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(help) - ^ "Google Trends:Wikipedia, porn". Retrieved 2006-12-07.
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(help) - ^ "Google Trends:Wikipedia, life". Retrieved 2007-07-09.
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(help) - ^ "Google Trends:wikipedia, universe". Retrieved 2006-07-12.
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(help) - ^ "Wikipedia:Motto of the day/Nominations/Archive 1". pp. Item #22. Retrieved 2007-04-18.
- ^ "BBC News: BBC suspends phone competitions". Retrieved 2007-10-02.
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(help) - ^ "BBC News: Richard and Judy in quiz apology". Retrieved 2007-10-02.
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(help) - ^ "BBC News: Blue Peter says 'sorry' over cat". Retrieved 2007-10-02.
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(help) - ^ "BBC News: ITV admits X Factor vote mistake". Retrieved 2007-10-02.
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(help) - ^ "BBC News: BBC unearths new competition fake". Retrieved 2007-10-09.
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(help) - ^ Lyrics Apathy ft. Ryu and Celph Titled - Can't Leave Rap Alone